When someone truly cares for you, they don’t call you names or belittle you or make you feel responsible for their negative actions. Do you often look at couples to find the slightest gesture of affection so I you can measure it, analyze it and compare it…to the lack of affection in your life?
When someone wants to build a relationship with you, they don’t prey on your weaknesses or vulnerabilities so they can feel more powerful, more superior. They don’t twist your words or your actions to suit their twisted ideology based on their own insecurities.
In reflection of previous ‘relationships’…I realized that I can be treated well in the presence of positive company…I don’t have to choose between one and the other. I can have a reciprocal dialogue and share my experiences without having to muzzle my opinions for fear of argumentative disagreements.
Too many times I have justified unhealthy relationships. I focused on companionship, entertainment or any activity to relieve my boredom at the expense of being disrespected. Voluntarily, I convinced myself, that if I made the decision to be in the presence of negativity, then it was OK, because I knew what I was subjecting myself to, it was my decision, I owned it, and therefore it was warranted.
What a lie! —- So what would I tell my ‘younger’ self?
Avoid the rationalization trap and distorted perceptions, what you thought was fun, was an inadequate reward, it was a self inflicted punishment to your inner being, because you are lonely and vulnerable. Know your WORTH and maintain the value, at all cost!